Aries - You ought to have that irregularity looked at by a specialist.
Taurus - Take a pleasant excursion. You are likely going to lose your employment this month. Thank the stars for joblessness benefits.
Gemini - Don't pick up the telephone throughout the month. The bill gatherers and phone salespeople all need your cash. I propose keeping for later, when the downpour hits, go to the shopping center and spend it. You can't extract blood from a turnip.
Disease - You will likely meet your first love this month. If not, there is no left expect you. You are bound to be separated from everyone else for eternity.
Leo - Give your feline an insect shower before the little animals invade your home.
Virgo - You are presumably 450 bushmaster ammo to get a speeding ticket towards the center of the month. Try not to pay it. The cop won't appear in court. All charges will be dropped. What's more, your mother by marriage will come for a decent lengthy visit.
Libra - Vote for anything that side the scales are tipped towards.
Scorpio - A dark feline will cross your way.
Sagittarius - It's not exactly protected to emerge from stowing away yet. Your image has been all around the information. Everyone is searching for you. Remain in the forest for the whole winter. Construct a little shack, stock it brimming with ammunition. The men in dull suits and shades would rather not get their glossy shoes messy. By spring, your facial hair ought to be long sufficient that no one will remember you.
Capricorn - Jump!!!
Aquarius - You ought to have turned left at that convergence, very much like your better half said. Presently you won't ever hear its finish.
Pisces - Spend your entire check on lottery tickets. However, don't fault me assuming that you lose everything.